Who actually gives a monkey’s what their favourite meal is ? And don’t get me started on the guys WHO USE UNNECESSARY BLOCK CAPITALS. If you want a date with this gal, you better learn how to write a full sentence, IYKWIM?

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Like all dating apps, people tend to just jump straight to the point and not leave a whole lot to the imagination.

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Originally from France, Ketty Elisabeth is a food blogger and food tour guide based in Dublin.

A few credit card details later and I get a congratulations email telling me that I am ‘live’. I have almost planned my outfits and picked my diary dates. Desperate in Delvin*, 62 sends me a virtual wink and then, another. Kinky in Kinnegad, 72, sends me a message saying that he thinks I’m sexy.

I opt for a discreet photo, after I Instagram it to death. But the allure of a meal in a restaurant, with a man who isn’t related to me, is calling me.I find it hard to believe that his intentions are honourable. There’s lots of faceless men out there, like Unhappily Married in Urlingford, 38, who don’t upload photos and is pushy about chatting to me, as if this opportunity is what I’ve waited all of my life for. Dapper in Dublin, 39, looks promising, but then says that we live too far away from each other for a date. Other fellas probably really should have taken a bit of advice on how to take selfies for the purposes of actually getting a date.The Teacher in Thurles, 37, (also faceless), writes ‘your lovely’. I try not to sound desperate and resist asking him to check the route on AA Routeplanner, like I already have. Many photographs make the potential suitors look like they came straight from Crimeline’s ‘Most Wanted’, a result of poor quality snaps taken directly from their PC, or phone, the ideal environment for showing off double/treble chins to their finest.Needless to say, it’s incredibly entertaining and includes a worthwhile discussion on the word “wan”.Looking for a long-term partner but struggling to find the time?I get regular notifications through my email account telling me that someone has added me as ‘his favourite’.